When does a grapefruit cease to be a grapefruit and begin to be compost? Not before Jean notices it apparently.
She had graciously accepted my offer for an inaugural workout (the first “above and beyond” physical activity since Eleanor’s birth) of helping me relocate wood from the soggy yard up to the deck (for our wood-burning stove), when she noticed a small yellow globe laying rather pathetically in the corner of our bare garden.
I explained that I only am able to hit the compost bin from the deck about half the time. Therefore, one should expect a penumbra of organic detritus around it. She looks at me like she can’t believe what I’m saying, though with a hint of a bemused look. Feeling under pressure to explain myself, I let her know that on the morning in question, there was a visible frost on the ground and I was in my boxer shorts. These circumstances led me to be outside a very brief period of time, resulting in an even shorter time-frame to calculate the trajectory and thrust necessary to score a hit on the 3′ x 3′ target of our compost bin, some 30 feet away.
This answer did not satisfy her sense of propriety, as she immediately asked “Why do we have a compost bucket in the kitchen, if not for things like shriveled grapefruits?”. I answered that I had only just emptied the compost bucket and that it seemed such a waste to take up a grapefruit’s worth of volume in a compost bucket, besides the fact that a grapefruit can be easily thrown, unlike perhaps, a rotten cucumber that has sat in the bottom of the vegetable drawer for three months, or the left-over innards of a halloween pumpkin.
There are times I choose to step down from the golden pedestal of my mother-in-law’s making, to mix among the mere mortals of the world. And then there are times I fall off backwards when striking a pose.
(FYI, I was interrupted no fewer than a
half dozen times in blogging this, the staccato of my fingers on the keyboard bridging each sentence with a three to ten minute gap, like a telegraph operator sending messages to the front line.
1. Merrill successfully peeing on the potty by herself, but needing help with panties and pants back on.
2. Starting the oven for lunch; delay start timer
3. Lucas and Merrill needing to swing; pre-empted by cleaning the area below their swing
4. Lucas puking in the toilet; new development
5. Eleanor crying, needing a pacifier
6. Eleanor puking
7. Eleanor needing a change
8. Merrill unsuccesfuly peeing on the potty
just needing to be held pooping and needing a change
10. I can’t remember